you

you were so close yet so far

cruising along two separate parallels

where there are no points of intersection

now, the hurt

the words

and the assumptions has pushed us further

i no longer want to be in the same room as you

much less hold a conversation with you

i no longer want to be a part of your life

nor have you be a pat of mine

in this time and day,

where communications and networks interconnect

and where different lives cross paths,

sometimes without us knowing,

i fight to stay afloat

and atop of this situation

i do not want to be the recipient of your guilt-tripping

of your words of hurt,

whether intentional or not,

i wish to segment myself away from you,

as best as i can

that phone call shall be the last,

and the only ever words we shall share with each other from now on

it, or rather, i have had enough

i am no bearer of the future

nor am i to predict the outcomes of our paths

if we were to meet and befriend again,

we shall

if not, this is goodbye

take heed,

let's leave it at that

and not on an attempt at sour redemption

move on, and know that there is a life beyond

beyond this episode

beyond this gates of past encounter

lost

quiet so loud it pierces through her eardrums

stillness so unmoving it violently attacks her body

blackness so amplified it sears her sight

and there she lies,

alone and faceless

unknown terrain and shattering blindness

no moon nor light to shine the way

wandering without an clue of what lies ahead

not even clear if her feet is still stepping on the ground

with her fear rising she trudges forth

only to face more fright and scare as the burning rain falls

and then she falls

uncontrolled and unrestrained

never to surface again

want/need

in the late hours of the night

craving to speak to someone

anyone in fact

wishing that there was something better to do

than staring into darkness

with nothing but a thousand thoughts swirling in the mind

but deep down

the truth is held

that the one person creating this hollow

is far and beyond

unable and impossible to speak

the feeling is untold and unimaginable

mixed and usual, it grows deeper and bigger

there are no words that can comprehend the swell of emotion

but the truth is to be told

the one person to left this state is far and beyond

unable and impossible to speak

heartbroken II

everytime we fight, it's because of me

and after every fight we come to the conclusion that it's usually me

but everytime i try to convince myself it's just me, i can't

so is it me that's continuously being a horrible girlfriend

or is there something deeper laying underneath

i will do anything for you, anything at all

even if it means going out of my way, or making sacrifices

be it big or small

however, deep in my heart my heart still aches so badly

maybe it's true...

i'm just asking for too much

heartbroken

she doesn't seem like she's good enough for him

she doesn't feel like she's perfect enough for him

she doesn't understand what she has to do to win him over

is she doing something wrong?

why wouldn't he just spend more time with her

sacrifice time like she will readily do

find opportunities to meet and hang out

she regrets her time constraints and is trying her best

but he is not doing enough

or so she feels

is she just being an anal possessive girl?

harsh

sitting in the dark

staring at the harsh backlight

the blinking text line mocking, taunting

a mind filled with immense expression

overflowing with unspoken script

the inability to escape

the impotence to articulate

ringing high and strong

never will one know the anguish

and emotion weathered that day

by the frail lonely being

hurt

it's the telltale signs

the symptoms that suggest an oncoming storm

the pain in the chest

the squeeze of the heart

the tightening in the throat

the pressure from the tear ducts

holding it in

and controlling all the overwhelming hurt

grasping the push

and clinging onto the force of all the gushing emotion

but after it all,

the fight is lost

and fat thick acid pours down

and the tears never stop

irony

it's rather ironic

when human beings are created to feel pain

pain that we physically feel

and at least once,

every single person will experience this pain

but when we stop thinking about the pain

we will lose the pain when we start living

just in time

so long ago, they took a chance

but chance won't take them

maybe it was the timing

it could have been a collision of paths that did not match

and hence the two left it there

doing nothing,fearing

one unsure if their love would last

or waver with time

at present day,

after a long hiatus of brief acquaintance

like romeo found juliet

their paths crossed again

and this time, it was right

it was time and luck;

chance and fate;

love and trust

now, they walk hand in hand

their fates entwined;

destinies ordained

i will

i fell really hard

but i learnt so much from this

i will fall in love and give my all at the sound of the whistle

i will feel and give my passion at the sound of the horn

i will hurt and cry when it all crumbles

i will feel the stab and admit my failure when it all disintegrates

but i will move on and move forward after time

but i will let go and live life after it all

nothing will hold me back

because i have courage and i have strength

steps

step one;

we meet and became awkward acquaintances

step two;

we started talking,texting,laughing

step three;

we went out for a movie, it was perfect

step four;

we started hanging out,

whatever chasm dissolving away

step five;

you asked me and i said yes,

the perfect night to the start of something better

step six;

we love, we cherish and we surprise

step seven;

through ups and downs, we get closer,

no matter how much pain we felt

step eight;

take one wrong turn

and everything starts falling apart

things slip away and chances are lost

it's takes seven steps to built it all

and one to crush the entirety

all is lost and all is frail

what will it take?

what will it take to built it up again?

together

sitting on the park bench

the gentle breeze brushing past her freckled cheeks

the rustling leaves seem to whisper greetings in her ears

as she sits on the warm seat

she waits

across from her,

stands a lone boy on the speckled path

tall and built an image of strength and protection

looking and seeking

he waits

now the wait is over

and she is holding the bouquet he got for her

holding hands;

they just look out at the life they have ahead of them

together

effects

you set the butterflies in me into a flutter

a good sort of fluttering frenzy

you cause my heart to beat so hard

a good adrenaline pumping rush

you make me imagine all sorts of fantasies

a good bunch of fairytale stories

you make me beam a wide dazzling smile

a good shine of in-love radiance

and this is the part

you tell me you love me

love

wish as hard as i might;

i know you won't appear in front of me

not at that instant;

not immediately

pray as hard as i might;

i know you can't be right here with me

not at this moment;

not right now

but it's the care that bonds

and the love that links

the faith that ties

and the trust that lingers

it's the times of absence

that makes each time we're together sweeter

and for the euphoria that awaits

i wait,wish and pray patiently

that you do the same

ride

it was your everything that took my breath away

your voice and your eyes

your lips and your smile

your warmth and your soul

your love and your heart

you took what's left of me

and turned my world around

before you it was all grey skys and waters

but now i see reds of autumn and greens of spring

you took me on a journey i wish will never end

holding on tight;

i'm ready for the ride

you

your love i yearn for

your arms i crave for

your presence i ache for

yet i cry for you

i ache because of you

i feel helpless around you

your mind is a puzzle i will never solve

your heart a constant change

your entirety i am unsure about

will you hold out for me

and wait for me?

incoherent thoughts

building up a wall

surrounding yourself

calling upon your inner strength to fight off all the pain

you build a wall

the wall seem to close in

with no escape route

you're stuck with no where to run

the air is thick and heavy

breathing is a task to torturous you can't muster the strength

but even with my last breath,

i'm still gonna tell you

i love you

stepping stones

life is a course full of stepping stones

ones you have to cross to succeed

although not everything is measured in medals and trophies,

nor is it quantified in points or grades

we still pursue an icon of succession

though to some, every obstacle may be a pitfall

and every difficulty a failure

but when we view it as a simple stepping stone

we learn to learn

we learn from these stepping stones

that though we might not have achieved what we wanted

but we definitely have gained a little knowledge and strength

and we have also accumulated a stronger will and mind

for it is these things that drive the person forward

and pushes the envelope

till we finally stop breathing

will our path of life ends

and only till then will these stepping stones

come to an end

mindset

beads of perspiration trickled down his weather-beaten face

eyes squinting in the mercilessly sweltering sun

his arms are aching so badly

trembling legs hold him up but not for long

his fingers are sweaty and slipping inch by inch as time ticked by

his body is giving way

despite all odds he stayed up

maintaining balance he trudges forward

constantly reminding himself of the reward awaiting

he trusts in his willpower to get him one step closer

believing in his mind to forget about the pain

and placing faith in the hands of himself

he controls the situation

for it's all in the mind

and mind is over matter

all that matters

worked so hard

pushed so hard

placed my best foot forward

again and again and again

but to no avail

cause the others have got it better than me

all my efforts are going down the drain

because everything is not enough

not enough for me to excel

it does not matter who works the hardest

it does not make a difference who puts forth more

because it will all be taken from you

because you are just

not. good. enough