THE BOOK OF LITTLE SECRETS

you

2011-07-05T22:07:00.005+08:00

you were so close yet so far

cruising along two separate parallels

where there are no points of intersection

now, the hurt

the words

and the assumptions has pushed us further

i no longer want to be in the same room as you

much less hold a conversation with you

i no longer want to be a part of your life

nor have you be a pat of mine

in this time and day,

where communications and networks interconnect

and where different lives cross paths,

sometimes without us knowing,

i fight to stay afloat

and atop of this situation

i do not want to be the recipient of your guilt-tripping

of your words of hurt,

whether intentional or not,

i wish to segment myself away from you,

as best as i can

that phone call shall be the last,

and the only ever words we shall share with each other from now on

it, or rather, i have had enough

i am no bearer of the future

nor am i to predict the outcomes of our paths

if we were to meet and befriend again,

we shall

if not, this is goodbye

take heed,

let's leave it at that

and not on an attempt at sour redemption

move on, and know that there is a life beyond

beyond this episode

beyond this gates of past encounter

lost

2011-05-20T21:15:00.005+08:00

quiet so loud it pierces through her eardrums

stillness so unmoving it violently attacks her body

blackness so amplified it sears her sight

and there she lies,

alone and faceless

unknown terrain and shattering blindness

no moon nor light to shine the way

wandering without an clue of what lies ahead

not even clear if her feet is still stepping on the ground

with her fear rising she trudges forth

only to face more fright and scare as the burning rain falls

and then she falls

uncontrolled and unrestrained

never to surface again

want/need

2011-04-22T02:39:00.003+08:00

in the late hours of the night

craving to speak to someone

anyone in fact

wishing that there was something better to do

than staring into darkness

with nothing but a thousand thoughts swirling in the mind

but deep down

the truth is held

that the one person creating this hollow

is far and beyond

unable and impossible to speak

the feeling is untold and unimaginable

mixed and usual, it grows deeper and bigger

there are no words that can comprehend the swell of emotion

but the truth is to be told

the one person to left this state is far and beyond

unable and impossible to speak

heartbroken II

2011-03-18T00:18:00.001+08:00

everytime we fight, it's because of me

and after every fight we come to the conclusion that it's usually me

but everytime i try to convince myself it's just me, i can't

so is it me that's continuously being a horrible girlfriend

or is there something deeper laying underneath

i will do anything for you, anything at all

even if it means going out of my way, or making sacrifices

be it big or small

however, deep in my heart my heart still aches so badly

maybe it's true...

i'm just asking for too much

heartbroken

2011-02-27T20:40:00.003+08:00

she doesn't seem like she's good enough for him

she doesn't feel like she's perfect enough for him

she doesn't understand what she has to do to win him over

is she doing something wrong?

why wouldn't he just spend more time with her

sacrifice time like she will readily do

find opportunities to meet and hang out

she regrets her time constraints and is trying her best

but he is not doing enough

or so she feels

is she just being an anal possessive girl?

harsh

2010-10-21T04:06:00.002+08:00

sitting in the dark

staring at the harsh backlight

the blinking text line mocking, taunting

a mind filled with immense expression

overflowing with unspoken script

the inability to escape

the impotence to articulate

ringing high and strong

never will one know the anguish

and emotion weathered that day

by the frail lonely being

hurt

2010-10-20T01:42:00.002+08:00

it's the telltale signs

the symptoms that suggest an oncoming storm

the pain in the chest

the squeeze of the heart

the tightening in the throat

the pressure from the tear ducts

holding it in

and controlling all the overwhelming hurt

grasping the push

and clinging onto the force of all the gushing emotion

but after it all,

the fight is lost

and fat thick acid pours down

and the tears never stop

irony

2010-10-10T23:26:00.003+08:00

it's rather ironic

when human beings are created to feel pain

pain that we physically feel

and at least once,

every single person will experience this pain

but when we stop thinking about the pain

we will lose the pain when we start living

just in time

2010-09-26T20:00:00.005+08:00

so long ago, they took a chance

but chance won't take them

maybe it was the timing

it could have been a collision of paths that did not match

and hence the two left it there

doing nothing,fearing

one unsure if their love would last

or waver with time

at present day,

after a long hiatus of brief acquaintance

like romeo found juliet

their paths crossed again

and this time, it was right

it was time and luck;

chance and fate;

love and trust

now, they walk hand in hand

their fates entwined;

destinies ordained

i will

2010-08-12T22:15:00.002+08:00

i fell really hard

but i learnt so much from this

i will fall in love and give my all at the sound of the whistle

i will feel and give my passion at the sound of the horn

i will hurt and cry when it all crumbles

i will feel the stab and admit my failure when it all disintegrates

but i will move on and move forward after time

but i will let go and live life after it all

nothing will hold me back

because i have courage and i have strength

steps

2010-07-25T00:47:00.002+08:00

step one;

we meet and became awkward acquaintances

step two;

we started talking,texting,laughing

step three;

we went out for a movie, it was perfect

step four;

we started hanging out,

whatever chasm dissolving away

step five;

you asked me and i said yes,

the perfect night to the start of something better

step six;

we love, we cherish and we surprise

step seven;

through ups and downs, we get closer,

no matter how much pain we felt

step eight;

take one wrong turn

and everything starts falling apart

things slip away and chances are lost

it's takes seven steps to built it all

and one to crush the entirety

all is lost and all is frail

what will it take?

what will it take to built it up again?

together

2010-06-03T12:54:00.000+08:00

sitting on the park bench

the gentle breeze brushing past her freckled cheeks

the rustling leaves seem to whisper greetings in her ears

as she sits on the warm seat

she waits

across from her,

stands a lone boy on the speckled path

tall and built an image of strength and protection

looking and seeking

he waits

now the wait is over

and she is holding the bouquet he got for her

holding hands;

they just look out at the life they have ahead of them

together

effects

2010-05-28T22:56:00.004+08:00

you set the butterflies in me into a flutter

a good sort of fluttering frenzy

you cause my heart to beat so hard

a good adrenaline pumping rush

you make me imagine all sorts of fantasies

a good bunch of fairytale stories

you make me beam a wide dazzling smile

a good shine of in-love radiance

and this is the part

you tell me you love me

love

2010-05-21T00:39:00.002+08:00

wish as hard as i might;

i know you won't appear in front of me

not at that instant;

not immediately

pray as hard as i might;

i know you can't be right here with me

not at this moment;

not right now

but it's the care that bonds

and the love that links

the faith that ties

and the trust that lingers

it's the times of absence

that makes each time we're together sweeter

and for the euphoria that awaits

i wait,wish and pray patiently

that you do the same

ride

2010-04-23T19:35:00.004+08:00

it was your everything that took my breath away

your voice and your eyes

your lips and your smile

your warmth and your soul

your love and your heart

you took what's left of me

and turned my world around

before you it was all grey skys and waters

but now i see reds of autumn and greens of spring

you took me on a journey i wish will never end

holding on tight;

i'm ready for the ride

you

2010-04-19T22:52:00.004+08:00

your love i yearn for

your arms i crave for

your presence i ache for

yet i cry for you

i ache because of you

i feel helpless around you

your mind is a puzzle i will never solve

your heart a constant change

your entirety i am unsure about

will you hold out for me

and wait for me?

incoherent thoughts

2010-04-04T00:35:00.002+08:00

building up a wall

surrounding yourself

calling upon your inner strength to fight off all the pain

you build a wall

the wall seem to close in

with no escape route

you're stuck with no where to run

the air is thick and heavy

breathing is a task to torturous you can't muster the strength

but even with my last breath,

i'm still gonna tell you

i love you

stepping stones

2010-03-18T19:26:00.005+08:00

life is a course full of stepping stones

ones you have to cross to succeed

although not everything is measured in medals and trophies,

nor is it quantified in points or grades

we still pursue an icon of succession

though to some, every obstacle may be a pitfall

and every difficulty a failure

but when we view it as a simple stepping stone

we learn to learn

we learn from these stepping stones

that though we might not have achieved what we wanted

but we definitely have gained a little knowledge and strength

and we have also accumulated a stronger will and mind

for it is these things that drive the person forward

and pushes the envelope

till we finally stop breathing

will our path of life ends

and only till then will these stepping stones

come to an end

mindset

2010-02-28T02:21:00.002+08:00

beads of perspiration trickled down his weather-beaten face

eyes squinting in the mercilessly sweltering sun

his arms are aching so badly

trembling legs hold him up but not for long

his fingers are sweaty and slipping inch by inch as time ticked by

his body is giving way

despite all odds he stayed up

maintaining balance he trudges forward

constantly reminding himself of the reward awaiting

he trusts in his willpower to get him one step closer

believing in his mind to forget about the pain

and placing faith in the hands of himself

he controls the situation

for it's all in the mind

and mind is over matter

all that matters

2010-02-16T21:09:00.002+08:00

worked so hard

pushed so hard

placed my best foot forward

again and again and again

but to no avail

cause the others have got it better than me

all my efforts are going down the drain

because everything is not enough

not enough for me to excel

it does not matter who works the hardest

it does not make a difference who puts forth more

because it will all be taken from you

because you are just

not. good. enough

true sight

2010-01-18T23:56:00.003+08:00

we all came from all parts of the globe

so different we saw nothing in common

pride and prejudice

we were not ready to sit down and see

see the similarities we shared

obvious differences overrode

the mere presence of the hidden bond

pushing through the differences

we fought to stay together

knowing we were doing it not for each other

but just cause we needed to

however, the ice have slowly melted away

and we saw how blinded we were

how the days have combined us

so tightly we're attached

by heartstrings and pulses

now, every surge and tug

i feel deep inside

for i know how they feel

for i truly see them

end

2010-01-18T23:38:00.002+08:00

the water ahead looks choppy

the wind ahead feels strong

the air suddenly becomes thick and heavy

pulling all oxygen away from me

surrounding me,

the others turn into vultures

prowling and circling me

ready to pounce and attack

ready to flee and pull away

i pull as hard as i can

surging forward i don't look back

can't afford to, i must look ahead

focused and ready to dispense my strength

the race hasn't end

for this is just the beginning

we aren't winners

we aren't losers

not till the end of ends

worlds apart

2010-01-06T15:11:00.002+08:00

it seems i know nothing about you

and you nothing of me

we could be so different

we're like fire and ice

we could be so similar

we think the same things

but we'll never know

because we're worlds apart

sure

2009-12-11T22:03:00.002+08:00

when you were so sure

you had no problem believing

when you were assured

you had no worries about betrayal

when you start to doubt

you begin to wonder

when you start to lose faith

you begin to ponder hours on end

when you start to fall through the cracks

you know that it's all over

history

2009-12-06T22:47:00.003+08:00

there was a time when i thought i was invincible

and when i thought my room was the ultimate playground

there was a time when i thought i was indestructible

and when i thought my mom was my super hero

there was a time when i thought i was super awesome

and when i thought that the television was a magical black box

times have changed

and i've evolved;

forced to conform into what i must

it was such a sweet past

escape

2009-11-29T15:47:00.000+08:00

when a book draws you away

you know you have gone over to the other side

you get lost in fiction

because you rather be there then be here in reality

this happens when reality is just too cold and harsh

to understand and withstand

you know your smile would at least be real

then the forced kind you make in this world

unruly and unkind

you retreat into the desolate world of words

and turn your back to the barren land of feelings

leaving behind all hope and disappointment

to be contented by the plain sight of words

and made up fantasy

savouring the lies of writers

and tricked into oblivion by the paragraphs of beautiful literature

blinded by the illusion of hope and desire

habouring yet another bundle of pure bliss

and fall into the traps yet again

eye candy

2009-11-28T21:25:00.002+08:00

it started out as a feast for the eyes

how perfect your face seemed

there were no sparks

nor were there feeling

just the silent glee of seeing you

but she got greedy and wanted more

what was just an innocent infatuation

slowly turned into more

the sight of you excites her

the sound of you intrigues her

she feels the warmth spreading across her body

and the perfect face seems to glance right pass her

oh how she craves to be noticed

looked at and loved

by you

breathless

2009-11-23T20:07:00.003+08:00

you are like a camera;

capturing me like a moment

you are like a roller coaster;

giving me the ride of my life

you are like a fire;

warming up my cold heart

you are like a woolen jumper;

caressing me like an infant

you are like the apple on the highest branch

leaving me longing for you

you are like a fascinating displaying;

forbidding me to break eye contact

you are like a vacuum;

rendering me breathless

departure

2009-11-08T15:35:00.004+08:00

the icy cold hangs in the air

waiting for the first snowflake to fall

winter whispers its name as the wind race past our face

you pull harder on your coat

keeping the chill out

as you tug at your coat flaps

i tug my heartstrings

pacing down the cobblestone street

dimly lit by the lone street lamp

our silence screaming the deafening melancholy

the stillness of the moment does nothing to soothe the pain i feel

for you are leaving

lone

2009-09-21T14:31:00.002+08:00

they came in,

shook my hands and make small talk

they stayed and assured a fun time

they made a silent promise to go through it all

but then one picks up the phone

and called to be picked up, to go home

then others follow suit

and left me to say bye

we decided to continue our plans

to stay and enjoy and to go through it all

but you stood up and went into a room

and beckoned the others to follow

but you shut the door in my face

turned the lock

leaving me bruised and shattered

as i sat alone and contemplated

i realised how it is that people enter and leave

leave you alone and in the dark

pearls

2009-09-21T14:22:00.002+08:00

the strain is taut

the pull hurts

the tension so deafening

mist settle before my eyes

blur visions,contorted in the light

glassy views,changing forms and shapes

i tried to hold it in

i grabbed onto the remaining strenght

i slipped and fell

down; till the end

mask

2009-08-20T00:21:00.002+08:00

she feels fear

but she places a strong front

she feels sadness

but she appears cheerful

she feels weak

but she shows strength

the mask will never fall

for it gives her power to stand up for a little longer

adrenaline

2009-07-25T19:22:00.003+08:00

i hear the thumping in my ears

the heavy laboured breathing

my palms are sweaty

my vision a blur

a thousand thoughts are running through my head

someone said something

but i couldn't understand

the light buzzing all around me is driving me insane

then, the loud boisterous blare goes off

and everything is clear

i'm racing for the end

faith

2009-07-18T23:27:00.004+08:00

when the skies have turned a shade of dark violet

when the water is gushing at unimaginable speeds

when the wind is howling painfully

when the ground is dry and barren

when the future just seems so bleak

a glimmer of light

a spark of hope

keeps the heart burning

keeps the walk shorter

keeps the faith everlasting

origami

2009-07-12T21:27:00.003+08:00

the folds and creases

the shapes and the lines

the final product no one knows

because she's folding and creasing at random

because she'll never know what to expect

before it is done

the uncertainty though,

lessens as it draws nearer to the end

and she'll know what to expect

release

2009-07-10T14:01:00.002+08:00

sitting under the sycamore tree

basking in the warm golden light

the grass glittery with morning dew

the silent wind light and fresh

the sugar sweet air surging through my body

i gaze up to the blue skies

a smile crept by

while i watch the bunch of coloured balloons

rose into the otherwise pale sky

climbing

2009-07-09T13:11:00.000+08:00

the vertical ascend was toiling

beads of strain rolled down the pale face

burning an acidic trail

although the sight of others before

left the thread of confidence thinning

their hind views kept the adrenaline flowing

pushing forth,putting another step forward

it is not the end,it is not the summit

like a broken player

it keeps repeating:

it's not what you do;

it's how you do it

juggle

2009-07-07T20:12:00.000+08:00

the people we meet in life are all predestined

the events that take place in our lives are planned

they intertwine and intertangle

for they are just like a tangle of yarn

for some,the contact is short and sweet

just like a short piece of string

for some it's toiling and brash

just like a long rough rope

reprobate

2009-07-07T01:26:00.000+08:00

your presence used to be valued

your presence used to be cherished

but then it morphed

it changed

the air was heavy with suspicion

the air heavy with dislike

the atmosphere dodgy

the presence of us both together got weird

now your presence is no longer of any importance

become i've come to realise that you are playing a game

and well,

I QUIT

raven

2009-07-06T02:48:00.000+08:00

it was difficult to tell if you were being honest

your actions were saying one thing

but your voice was doing the opposite

it was tough to judge if you were being sincere

you said you we were friends

but you still continue hurting me

i guess you think you have got me

got me trapped in your little game

but i am so much stronger than you think

and i'm smarter than you think

you said so yourself

that people like me,

who've gone through many things

are dangerous because we know how to survive

so ain't it dumb of you to be stepping on my tail

to be wedging war with me

well,it's your choice

your call

you are the one making life difficult

not me